The Bocker.com

In what is likely the most awesome court decision ever, a Kentucky judge sided with Duke University lawyers and saved the school $450,000.

 

The lawsuit arose after Duke’s football team backed out of a 4-game series with the Cardinals.  The first game of the series was a 40-3 pummeling of the Blue Devils back in 2002.  In order to avoid further embarrassment (and apparently unwilling to simply scrap the entirety of their football program), the school canceled the last three games, scheduled for each of the 2007-2009 seasons.

Normally, it would be quite shocking for anyone from Kentucky to agree in any way with representatives of Duke. 

No Kentuckian has listened to a Dukie since this painful episode.

However, the argument presented by the school’s lawyers was airtight: simply put, the Duke football team is unbelievably terrible.

To elaborate, the contract between the two schools stated that, were either team to back out, they would be responsible to find a “team of similar stature” to replace them in the other school’s schedule.  The Duke lawyers seized on this language, arguing that the team is so bad–winning only 6 games in the last five years–that any team at all should be a suitable replacement.  The judge bought this argument, and it is understandable why a Kentuckian would so readily acknowledge the atrocity that is Duke University sports.  This decision saved the Dukies a cool $150,000 per game.

We are only left to wonder why Louisville’s lawyers did not attempt to argue that they would have a hard time finding a team quite as bad as Duke.  This seems like something that the judge and lawyers from both sides could all agree on.