The Bocker.com

My economic stimulus check cleared this morning, and let me just say that it feels great to have $600 in borrowed Chinese money sloshing around in my bank account. This is amazing. I could buy a hundred cups of (Starbucks) coffee, a Playstation 3, or a half tank of gas. Excuse me while I go single-handedly lift the economy out of this so-called “recession.”

Try the coffee thing. You won’t be sorry (unless you don’t turn your volume down).

With everyone worried about the faltering economy, I am glad the government is starting to look out for us by handing out money it doesn’t have. I am also excited that John McCain and Hillary Clinton want to do away with the gasoline tax for summer driving season. Once I can start putting that dime, nickel, and three pennies per gallon back into my wallet, I’ll at least be able to use my wallet as a paperweight. The way I see it, the more I spend on gas this summer, the more money I’ll save if they get rid of that damn tax.

Is this where you want your 18 cents per gallon to go?

And don’t even get me started on Obama’s attempts to justify keeping this tax, which pays for maintainence of our roads, highways, and bridges. If the money was being spent well, we wouldn’t have bridges falling down, would we? Stop trying to hide behind being “fiscally responsible,” Barack. I want to pay $3.62 per gallon this summer, and I’ll be damned if you think I am going to stand by and let you make me pay $3.80. Instead of working so hard to keep this tax, why don’t you spend your efforts on something that people in this country actually care about.