The Bocker.com

In this week’s Sports Illustrated, there was an excellent article written by Grant Wahl, concerning terrible student section behavior incidents throughout this college season. Much of the article discusses how much abuse freshmen Kevin Love and Eric Gordon received as players playing on the road in their homestates (Oregon and Illinois respectively). Besides awful chants being directed at these players, their attending family members were also abused throughout the game. I don’t want to leave the obnoxious student sections without blame, but the two driving forces behind the rise of abusive college crowds are 1) ESPN and the sports media for praising and supporting the impact on these fans in the game and 2) the colleges and universities for marketing a wild and crazy “Student Fan Experience” to prospective students. With the media making these sections part of the storyline of a game and the schools bolstering raucus behavior, its hardly surprising that college students are acting terribly at college games.

During every college basketball broadcast, the powers that be always spend an inordinate time talking up the “support of the home crowd” and the “6th Man” notion. Pregame pieces are produced analyzing the effect a crowd has on a game. The Erin Andrews and Dick Vitales of the world find it necessary to break the 4th wall and enter the student sections at Duke and Kentucky and even Southern Illinois (see below) among others in order to build up importance of a home crowd.

Its clear that a home crowd effects the outcome of a game, especially in college, but when the media is producing pieces that promote a fan group that “goes online and finds out your (an opposing player’s) personal information”, there is something wrong . Of course, if these student sections are praised for their abusive behavior via sport’s biggest speakerphone, their actions will only continue to worsen. Student sections look at themselves as a crucial part of the game, and why not the media seems to treat them as such. So why not dig up the darkest times of an 18-year-olds’ past and jeer them for a tough time involving, for example, the loss of a parent (see the mention to Steve Kerr in the SI article).

For the lazier bad-mouthed fan, there’s always the simple homophobic remark towards an opposing players. These should be considered equally as offensive as racial remarks, but instead is a just a good laugh that most schools are complicit with. Nevermind that these institutions always talk up their acceptance of all at their universities.

Naturally, with all of this positive coverage coming the way of a school with a great student section, the universities jump at the chance to prop up similar groups at their own schools. For a university, these student groups become the major linking force between the school’s teams and the student body at-large. They become another major draw to a school when it comes time to attract perspective students. “Come to Duke and be part of the Cameron Experience!” or “Coming to UConn means being part of ‘Huskeymania’!”. These all become sells to a university, sometimes trumping academics, and the numbers support this. Schools like Ohio State, USC and Florida all saw record numbers of applicants and a more competitive applicant base overall during their recent successes in their various sports.

So yes, these student sections deserve to be criticized harshly as they act irresponsibly and with malice. However, when they are given a huge voice with which to voice their hate, both by the media and by their own schools, bad behavior should be anticipated. These groups stoop to new lows in order to out-mean and under-class their rivals so that they can be the story around a game, rather than the game itself. What a novel idea, the game itself as the primary story. Clearly, based on what behavior is accepted by the media and by the schools themselves, the major motivations behind college sports prove once again to be financial even as the NCAA toots their horn of amateurism and student-athletics.

Thanks to College Sports.com for the pictures.

We’d love to hear your thoughts on this, or any other post. Email us at editor@thebocker.com

I could really care less about Roger Clemens and his post-baseball life. However, the plethora of interesting tidbits that have emerged following his congressional hearing are beyond amusing. Its as though Clemens cares little about turning his life into a giant joke. With all of the dirty laundry aired about Clemens, jail time would just pile on to the public embarrassment he’s put him and his family through. At least this may result in Clemens, the cheater, being branded as an incomparable loser.

Today, Congress announced that in light of Clemens’ hearing, which Clemens himself asked for, a perjury investigation will be conducted concerning Clemens’ testimony. Let’s think about this. During a time of economic strife and military conflict, Clemens demanded that Congress hear his testimony so that he may clear his name. While Congress has a responsibility to watchdog sports (the same as they are responsible to watchdog any industry), it’s likely that most Congressmen would have no problem letting Clemens’ individual case pass on by.

So Clemens and his counsel decide to be cowboys and rattle everyone’s cages including Congress’ in order to clear the Rocket’s name with conviction. And all this did was open him up to perjury. Anything Clemens said that day in Congress is now subject to review and if he is proven to have lied about anything, he’s going to jail. These lies could be about steroid use, who he’s associated with or even which parties he’s been to. Which leads to…

How on EARTH can you lie under oath about attending a party that was so publicized that it was attended by MEDIA and by a few FANS with CAMERAS. During my college days, I wouldn’t dare lie about attending a frat party, not with facebook.com serving as a campus tabloid. Yet Clemens thought it smart to lie about attending a party where he was photographed by an 11-YEAR-OLD FAN.His lawyer, Rusty Hardin has not seen the photos, but Brian McNamee’s counsel believes the photo to show good proof of Clemens’ attendance at the infamous Canseco Pool Party.

Now that we mention Hardin, an issue has been raised by McNamee to remove Rusty from the Clemens case. This seems like a petty move, but the rationale behind it is amazing. Apparently, McNamee’s lawyers find it odd that Hardin represents Clemens and Andy Pettitte, even though each has conflicting versions of the truth. One can thus conclude that Hardin is either complicitly defending a client who is lying or to stupid to realize that he is playing for both teams in the same game. Either way, Hardin is discrediting one of his clients and is breaking his code of ethics as a lawyer. He is legally not permitted to do this and is required to represent either Pettitte or Clemens as defending one would compromise the other.

I loved this line of thought and love that Hardin should be forced to leave this matter and force Clemens to go through the ordeal and expense of getting new representation.

Besides Clemens’ himself being made a fool of publicly, his wife as also been dragged into this ordeal. Debbie Clemens first became part of the story when her use of HGH to “look right” for a SI Swimsuit Issue Shoot was made public. Now, an anonymous source, in attempting to link Clemens to Canseco and the infamous pool party, has mentioned how often, the two ex-teammates would joke about the similarity of their spouses breasts after surgical enlargement. None this pertains to steroids in the least, but now is common knowledge.

Again, no thanks to MLB, this has remained a baseball story instead of a Roger Clemens story, as Clemens as been making appearances at Astros Spring Training. Good job Bud Selig. Assuredly, Clemens would have definitely been banned from NFL Training Camp or NBA Preseason Camp, as both Roger Goddell and David Stern know the unnecessary negative attention this draws to the sport. Unfortunately, Bud Selig is a spineless imp on most things, A number 1, being steroids.

We’d love to hear your thoughts on this, or any other post. Email us at editor@thebocker.com

I’m getting tired of the recent tactic of some to hint that Obama is a Muslim. The fact of the matter is that he’s not. He’s Christian, just like most of America. But, since his middle name is Hussein, people like to insinuate that he is a Muslim. This of course plays into American’s distrust of Muslims and anyone associated with them. There are Republicans and Hillary supporters who are afraid of the momentum that Obama has built recently and they have resorted to name calling and school yard rumors. These kind of smear tactics don’t help anyone in a campaign that should be celebrated for having a woman and a black man with a legitimate shot at becoming president. When you look closely at the candidates you will find that all three are basically the same with a few differences on foreign policy and health care. It’s disappointing to me that this otherwise exciting campaign has been sullied in this way.

I found this article funny simply for the fact that there was a white man who felt the need to call himself Blaxican. Now that I think of it, I have a problem with anyone not from the planet Blaxica being called a Blaxican. I love that this guy felt the need to buy a matching toy Escalade for his full sized black model. This is one classy individual. At first I was annoyed that a guy like him could get rich and then I remembered, he stole all his money, it’s not like somebody actually paid him. At the very least we no longer have to worry about Blaxican taking his Suburban Rap to the airwaves any time soon.

Some of you may have heard, or remember, the Exxon-Valdez oil tanker spill in March 1989 near Cordova, Alaska. I was sad to hear that this area of Alaska is still feeling the effects of this spill today, almost 20 years later. Of course it should be no surprise that you can’t just scrub away the spilled oil. Ecosystems are fragile and a catastrophe of that size can change things forever. It saddens me that big companies like Exxon-Mobil can cause a problem like this, pay some money and be done, while the people living there are left to bear the effects. The same thing happened for year with GE and the Hudson River PCB contamination. I would just like to see these companies take a more active role in solving the problems they create.

Of course there had to be one guy who was pissed that Starbucks was closed for three hours the other day. I love this little exchange the best.

“I do mind that they charge me so much,” said engineer Benny Word. “I wish it were a dollar.”
“They’re going to charge that much,” his friend, limo driver Mike Ahme, said philosophically. “What are you going to do, be surprised?”

I love guys like the wise cracking limo driver. Nothing amazes these guys anymore. They have had all positive feeling sucked from them by the vacuum of life and remain forever cynical. Kind of like my associate Mr. DeFreitas.

It was only last year that the Interstate 35 bridge collapsed in Minnesota and politicians have forgotten their pledge of strengthening infrastructure. When lawmakers need to balance the budget where do they go to first? Education and Transportation. It always amazes me this whole mindset that the budget has to come out in the black. Government isn’t a business, it’s not supposed to create a profit. My biggest problem is with the priorities that politicians have. Even though almost everyone in the country owns a car we put less and less money into maintaining existing and building new roads. If you look at the Federal Budget you’ll see that transportation is only a fraction of the $3.1 Trillion estimated for the 2009 Fiscal Year. Infrastructure is consistently an afterthought in the minds of not only lawmakers but the public in general. You would think that events like the Florida blackout that saw millions lose power and the I-35 disaster would cause outrage. Instead we as a country stay interested for a week at best and quickly move on to whether or not Britney Spears needs a psychiatrist or who Pam Anderson will marry next.

Finally, something on the lighter side. Apparently an Arizona State University student has arranged an underwear run for charity. Some might argue that real collegians run nude but I guess for charity this might be seen as classless. I say this guy came up with a great way to get hot girls to take off their clothes and run through the streets, while making money on the backside. Not to mention girls love guys who are charitable. This guy is made in the shade. ASU is perennially ranked in the Top 10 of party schools and supposedly has some of the best looking women. With coeds like the ones below, you can see why.

And one more since you’ve been a great audience…

Photos courtesy of: The Situationalist, Chicago Sun-Times, wireddevils.com

We’d love to hear your thoughts on this, or any other post. Email us at editor@thebocker.com

I’m feeling lazy tonight and naturally I turned to the lazy blogger’s best friend, youtube. I’ve been watching lots of music videos recently that I want to call everyone’s attention to for one reason or another. Forgive me if you’ve seen some of these before and if you’ve seen all of them, you might want to get outside more.

Hot Chip’s new album, Made in the Dark, has been on my ipod ever since it came out earlier this month. I’m not really sure how to describe Hot Chip to those of you that haven’t heard of them before. According to wikipedia they are British Electropop. But, since that means nothing to most people, think of them as a weird, electronic, catchy, hummable group of British oddballs. There is one song on their album that I just can’t get out of my head, Ready for the Floor. The video is a color extravaganza and is a great example of the band’s odd sense of humor. The lead singer fluctuates from looking like the Joker, to looking like himself, to being a half-joker, half-man bouncing crooner. If that last sentence was confusing, just wait until you watch the video. At one point a group of brightly colored women dances while a rainbow wall moves behind them. If you dislike clicks and beeps, this song probably isn’t for you.

After that I figure I have to give you guys something a bit more normal. So I’ll go with the “it” girl of the moment, Adele. Adele is a British Soul-Singer who, at only 19, has seen her album (surprisingly titled 19) go to number one in Britain. Her big song, Chasing Pavements, is ready made for Top 40 radio, with Adele’s vibrant voice backed by a relaxing melody. (Wow, I’m terrible at describing songs. That last sentence took me 10 minutes to think of and all I could come up with was “vibrant” and “relaxing”. That’s why you have to watch the video.) The video shows two lovers, who were thrown from their car after hitting a tree, dancing together on the sidewalk in between shots of the paramedics trying to save them. Intriguing?

Many of you might not know this, but I used to be in a serious relationship with Sri-Lankan Hip-Hop artist M.I.A. Her song “Jimmy” is about how hard it was for her to leave me and how she wants me back. She’s a beautiful woman but I mean honestly what was I supposed to do? I had dreams of becoming a government employee at a regional waste treatment facility and she was a famous artist known throughout the globe. How could we make it work? She’s on the road most of the year and my job requires me to be on-site 5 days a week. Sometimes I sit and wonder what could have been…..Ah, well, at least I got a song out of the deal.

Lupe Fiasco’s “Dumb It Down” from The Cool. I love Lupe Fiasco who I believe to be the best rapper around today. His rhymes are witty, complex, technical and he can switch flows to adapt to any beat. “Dumb It Down” is his response to people telling him that his lyrics are too intelligent. The video is simple, a black and white shot of Lupe rapping to the camera with various characters singing the chorus.

I don’t know what how you feel about soul music but Sharon Jones and the Dap Kings are a group that seem to have been sent here from the past. The video for their single “100 Days, 100 Nights” looks like it was recorded at some 60s TV show and Sharon Jones shows her command of the stage as she belts out the song. If you like listening to the classics, this song should tickle your fancy.

I don’t really watch Flight of the Concords on HBO, but this song is funny. I’d tell you more about it but it’s pretty self-explanatory.

And finally Mr. Charles Bronson everybody. Please, give the man a hand.

We’d love to hear your thoughts on this, or any other post. Email us at editor@thebocker.com

I played my game, I got my most sure answers right and missed in the categories I was uncertain. All-in-all a shameless performance in my inaugural Oscar Pool run. I was most proud of my work in the screenplay categories, where I picked Juno (FYI, stripper turned writer Diablo Cody) and No Country for Old Men with confidence. I said originally though, it would be the actress categories that would end. Missing both the 6 points for leading and the 5 for supporting put me at 44 points, 12 point off the leader. I did learn a few things that I’ve listed below when it comes to picking the Oscars.

-See the movies! Some people do well picking these movies without seeing very many and just reading a few things here and there, but in the major categories where I had seen all of the films I did much better than in the ones where I hadn’t. After reading about the 5 lead actress nominees, I think I may have picked Marion Cotillard if I had seen La Vie En Rose simply because her role seemed the hardest of the 5. She managed to play Edith Piaf from a young adulthood until her very sickly death as an older woman. In hindsight, its a more demanding role than the others.

-In the technical categories, go with your gut but only pick movies that were reviewed well. This one cost me in most of the technical areas. I lost a good 8 points here (this combined with an actress category puts me in the money). I followed James and took Transformers for everything special effects related and got burned. I still think he was right in thinking that Transformers were superior technically, but I think the Academy had trouble picking a movie that wasn’t really strong otherwise. Bourne was reviewed really well in contrast, and won two of these categories. Worse yet was the makeup category, where I even said I wanted to pick La Vie En Rose, but went with Pirates.

-Always take the big favorites from a big movie. Bardem and Day-Lewis were considered locks and they won because they were great and their movies were huge films. Same holds true for the Coens. Julie Christie was a lock, but was in a movie no one saw and lost. Gamble in categories like that.

-This is basically luck. Sure, you can see a few movies and get a better handle on it, but when I am getting Sweeney Todd right for Art Direction simply because “It seemed arty enough”, its clear that there isn’t much to this. Just pick the favorites, pick a couple of upsets where things aren’t as tidy and there you are.

Collected Notes on the 4 hour epic that is the Oscar Broadcast:
Miley Cyrus has something with her teeth that she should have fixed with her concert moneys. I can’t put a finger on it, and she is a poor adolescent I am judging, but if she wants to be big time she needs to nip things in the bud now before its the joke of all the blogs (I can see Perez Hilton drawing in fangs in a picture of Hannah Montana already)…Good job by the Coens’ but they were a little too cool for winning three major awards. A little bit of excitement would have been appreciated…Then there’s Marion Cotillard (cute French babe), who was elated with winning and gave a greatly emotional speech. She was actually shaking…I nominate Conan O’Brien as the next host of this thing. Jon Stewart is only funny when he can freely insult people and you can’t do that the Oscars. Conan is funny by being a complete wacko and doesn’t need to zing people with jokes to get laughs…What Jonah Hill meant to say was “Sorry Seth (Rogen), you are Dame Judi Dench because you are more of a fat whale than I, Halle Berry, am.” Of course, they couldn’t say that at the Oscars because its the Oscars, so instead they babbled around for way too long. Lame, Lame, Lame…Also, I’ve been reading some stories about why Brad Renfro was not included in the deceased movie people-montage, story here…Early Oscar Pick for 2009: Frost/Nixon. I screened this movie a coupled of months ago. Frank Langella best supporting actor in his portrayal of Richard Nixon, best director for Ron Howard.

We’d love to hear your thoughts on this, or any other post. Email us at editor@thebocker.com

Between you and me, what they don’t tell you about blogging is that you have to actually write things from time to time. Who’d have thought, you know? I’m just very thankful that Anthony has filled in the gaps while I’ve been over here wasting time. I’ll get you a cookie or something Anthony, for your troubles. It will be in the mail. Anyway, I’m sitting here thinking about what current event I would rip on this evening when I realized it was a perfect time for my beloved Wallace’s Thoughts. So let’s take a trip through a few items that have been bothering me in recent days.

In case you haven’t heard, last week Toshiba announced that they would no longer produce HD-DVD players thusly ending the “battle” with Sony and their next-generation technology, Blu-Ray. I stood by my prediction that Blu-Ray would win out in the end because of the simple fact that it’s name is much more fun to say than HD-DVD. I mean honestly, which sounds better? Say them out loud and you can tell me. What this means to you the consumer is that you no longer have to worry about which format to buy because Blu-Ray is the only show in town if you want to watch your movies in High Definition. After seeing the new Blu-Ray discs for myself I have to say watching movies at home is now officially better than going to the theater. If you are lucky enough to own a big screen TV, or know a friend perhaps, you’ll understand what I’m talking about. The Blu-Ray transfer makes the picture on your screen crisp and vibrant and it’s much better than the still fuzzy looking films you’ll see at your local cineplex. Blu-Ray discs are still a bit pricier than DVDs but their price will eventually go down and it’s worth the investment if you can afford it. For a movie guy like me it’s one of the best innovations of the year.

I just read today that Ralph Nader has decided to join the presidential race. You may know him as the man that single handedly lost the election for Al Gore in 2000 by taking around 3% of the Democratic vote, though Nader still denies his influence. Personally I think his late entry into the race is a lot of grand standing. I’m all for third party candidates and an open election with many different choices, but if Nader was really serious about changing politics and this country he would have entered the race months ago. By entering now he can get maximum media coverage and can get his name back in the news for a few weeks. I don’t really believe he wants to fix this country as much as he wants people to know he exists. Ron Paul was essentially a third party candidate and he ran from Day 1 promoting his ideals even though they went against the mainstream. That’s how a legitimate candidate runs a campaign. They don’t wait around until the field is pared down so that they can stick their head out and wave their arms to gain our interest. I really wish Ralph Nader would stop pretending and just go back to doing whatever it is he does.

The NFL combine was over the weekend and I was going to write a whole piece about it. But nobody wants to hear me rip into the combine for being a waste of time and the absurdity of rating a guy based on a 40 time and his bench press reps. Even Peter King of si.com admits that most teams use game film more than combine numbers. I only want to highlight the absurdity of grading guys based on 40 times. They measure these guys to the nearest 100th of a second, which can change on any given day depending on a whole lot of factors. Not to mention they don’t time guys in pads, they let them wear running shorts and track shoes, even though during games they will be wearing pads and cleats and the playing surface differs from stadium to stadium. Lets take those factors out it for a minute and I’ll ask you one simple question. Is there really a difference between a 4.27 seconds and 4.35 seconds? The answer is no. When you can run sub 4.5 seconds in the 40 yard dash you’re fast. Period. The whole thing is a bunch of nonsense and it’s amazing to me that over 400 media credentials are given out for the event. What a waste of time.

On ESPN.com today I noticed a little story about the Devil Rays talking to Barry Bonds. The funny part is that on the sidebar on ESPN it said “Rays skipper admits ‘minor’ Bonds talk”, as if he had a substance abuse problem and was finally coming clean. It’s insane to me that anyone would touch Bonds with a ten foot pole let alone admit to it in public. But if there had to be a team that did so why not one that changed their name to “The Rays” because they were trying to forget over a decade of being the worst franchise in baseball. Signing Bonds would get people to forget for a while that the Rays are still garbage. The problem is that once you see the team play you remember why you never watched them before in the first place.

Say, why don’t we end on that note. Thanks for coming along for the ride. I plan to be back tomorrow with something more substantial. Or I may take a nap. Oh the choices.

NFL Combine photo courtesy of NFL.com.

We’d love to hear your thoughts on this, or any other post. Email us at editor@thebocker.com

Solid show, very solid show. Unfortunately, I assumed that someone else in the world would have attended this concert from the other night and posted pictures, videos or at least a playlist. So far, zippo, nada, zilch. Disappointing indeed, but I guess I have learned the lesson to look to get this stuff yourself when you are going to blog on it. Regardless, here is a video from a recent live show in Austin, about a year ago.

I had not seen The Roots play a concert in quite awhile and one of the things that really amazed me was that there was no traditional hip-hop equipment out on stage at all. No turntables, no booming speakers, no eight-man posse, walking around sage with mikes and a bottle of hooch. I had forgotten about that.

Unfortunately, this Roots concert was merely average, as they played no real encore and had no special guests (a definite hallmark of a Hip-Hop concert played in NYC). It was still awesome to see their cover of Bob Dylan’s Masters of War, which included some sampling of Jimi Hendrix’s Machine Gun in the middle of it.

What made the show worth it for me was seeing ?uestlove dominate the drums (what a drummer!) and Tuba Gooding Junior provide the bands’ baseline with a full on Sousaphone.

We’d love to hear your thoughts on this, or any other post. Email us at editor@thebocker.com

I intended to put this up a week ago, but here is an appearance by my two favorite music critics, Greg Kot and Jim DeRogatis, the hosts of public radio’s Sound Opinions, on Conan O’Brien. Most of their time on Late Night was spent discussing the problems with the Grammy’s, their interactions with U2 and Bono and their issues with Jam Bands (I’ve long hated Dave Matthews Band so this was great to hear). Ironically, I spent my Friday night seeing hip-hop’s biggest (only?) Jam Band, The Roots, at the Apollo Theatre. Post on ?uestlove, Black Thought, et al forthcoming later today.

We’d love to hear your thoughts on this, or any other post. Email us at editor@thebocker.com

After hashing out the no-glitz Oscar Awards, I’m moving on to forecasting winners in the money award categories; those being the four acting awards, best director and picture. Getting any of this selections wrong will ruin my chances of finishing in the money of the 7th Annual Phil Wallace Oscar Pool (see Part 1 for full breakdown of rules), as these categories start off at 5 points and go up to 8 points for best picture. Overall, I see four clear cut winners among these top six Oscars, but the actress categories have me completely vexed. Leave it to the women to leave me clueless. . Again, my selected winners are listed in bold.

5 Point Categories (Supporting Acting)

The supporting actor and actress categories are the awards I enjoy most after the screenplay awards because the nominees and recipients are the most random bunch of Hollywood going usually. Most nomimee packs include everything from youngsters debuting in feature film (Anna Paquin, this year’s Saoirse Ronan) to long time character actors (Alan Arkin, Chris Cooper) and legit movie stars that need an Oscar to tidy up the legacy (Sean Connery, Angelina Jolie). Mostly, I like this category because the performances honored can be quirky, weird and different because there is not the build up here that surrounds the lead acting awards.

Best Supporting Actor
Casey Affleck - The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
Javier Bardem - No Country for Old Men
Philip Seymour Hoffman - Charlie Wilson’s War
Hal Holbrook - Into the Wild
Tom Wilkinson - Michael Clayton

I thought Bardem was the leading actor in No Country… in portraying super villain Anton Chigurh. Without giving away the movie, Bardem is the focus of the action and the real driving character throughout the film. Chigurh is also a pantheon villain, an all-time evildoer and a Halloween costume for years to come, so long as you can get his hairdo and his cow-killer tank gun (I’m sure this has a great concise name to it). Nevermind the slick accent. Below is his awesome “Friendo” scene, as both amusing and chilling a 4 minutes you’ll see in film.

As for the other contenders, I only saw Wilkinson in Michael Clayton, where he portrayed a partner at a big firm on the verge of mental breakdown and altruistic breakthrough. The only downside to this really entertaining performance was having to compete against Bardem’s all-time great role.

Best Supporting Actress
Cate Blanchett - I’m Not There
Ruby Dee - American Gangster
Saoirse Ronan - Atonement
Amy Ryan - Gone Baby Gone
Tilda Swinton - Michael Clayton

I love Amy Ryan due to her association with The Wire and I think she is the best example of what this category is about. A career, strong supporting actress, Ryan takes the role of the world’s worst mother in Gone Baby Gone and really nails the dysfunctional white “southie” trash aspect of it to a tee (fyi: Boston might have the worst white trash in this whole country).

Ruby Dee scares the heck out of me as a forecaster. I really don’t want to Monday-Morning Quarterback her win as the obvious sentimental choice. Cate Blanchett, well I am banking on her leading actress candidacy draw some votes from a strong Dylan portrayal in I’m Not There. No one likes Atonement enough for Ronan to win. Swinton has the most overlooked performance of the nominees; in many other years, her portrayal of a neurotic corporate lawyer would win this award.

6 Point Categories (The Starmaker Honors)
Best Director, Actor and Actress are the real individually life changing awards in the Oscars. Winning one leads to a future of big paydays, great projects, artistic license and instant A-list status. The lucky few that win multiple are all-time American icons, with legacies and celebrity stardom that live on beyond death. Personally, I would trade a U.S. Open win (Golf or Tennis) and the Heisman Trophy to win Best Actor or Director, heck even Best Actress.

Best Director
Paul Thomas Anderson - There Will Be Blood
Joel Coen & Ethan Coen - No Country for Old Men
Tony Gilroy - Michael Clayton
Jason Reitman - Juno
Julian Schnabel - The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

The Coen Brothers will win this award Sunday, as No Country… exemplified everything these two do best. The dialogue, as I’ve been saying, is greatly dark and quirky, the movie is shockingly violent and the overall feel of the film is appropriately uncomfortable. Noir western, sounds interseting. This also awards two filmmakers due for best director honors in the past (Barton Fink, Fargo) so the Academy will gladly take that into account.

Paul Thomas Anderson (I liked the handle, P.T., better than the formal Paul Thomas, sounds a lot slicker), made a movie I loved with There Will Be Blood, but the movie is too much about Daniel Day-Lewis to win any other awards (including Best Pic). Gilroy made an original, legal thriller (I loved Michael Clayton) in a usually stale genre. Jason Reitman’s Juno was too much about Diablo Cody’s script and Ellen Page, the star, for him to win. Given the success of Juno and his last film, Thank You For Smoking, along with his relative youth, the Academy feels as though Reitman will get his own gold man soon enough. Schnabel’s DB&B was not seen by enough people and not in English movie, two big strikes for his candidacy.

Best Actor
George Clooney - Michael Clayton
Daniel Day-Lewis - There Will Be Blood
Johnny Depp - Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
Tommy Lee Jones - In the Valley of Elah
Viggo Mortensen - Eastern Promises

No shocker here. Daniel Day-Lewis was the favorite since he was cast in the role of Daniel Plainview, a self-made oil tycoon of the late nineteenth/early tweentieth century. Also, this was first role since Gangs of New York in 2002. Day-Lewis’ preparation for the role, in which he became Plainview was well published before the movie was even released. All he had to do was deliver on the hype to win his second Oscar (My Left Foot, 1991), and Day-Lewis presented a tour-de-force romp. Plainview was crazy, precise, charming, loatheable, brilliant, pathetic among other things. Plainview even dominates the film in his silence (as shown in the first 10 minutes) but its his leaps into insanity (like the “Milkshake” scene, below) that show how much Day-Lewis poured into Plainview.

All of the other nominees were seriously handicapped by the hype built up by Day-Lewis working for the first time in years. Again, I loved Michael Clayton, but George Clooney is merely excellent as opposed to epic. I would love to see Johnny Depp win, because his performance manages to match Day-Lewis in my opinion. The Academy though, will have a hard time voting for the lead in a musical about comically deranged barber. Not exactly the epic sex appeal as brilliant oil tycoon gone mad. Mortensen did well working with David Cronenberg for a second nominee in this category (along with an intense naked man fight in a sauna). Tommy Lee Jones is just getting an invite, no chance for the one-time supporting Oscar winner.

Best Actress
Cate Blanchett - Elizabeth: The Golden Age
Julie Christie - Away From Her
Marion Cotillard - La Vie en Rose
Laura Linney - The Savages
Ellen Page - Juno

I was so unsure as to who to pick here that I actually wrote up my entire Oscar’s Picks post before deciding. Everyone is saying that Julie Christie will win and as much as I want to get in line with many experts’ safe bet, I am wagering that Ellen Page will win. My odds aren’t looking great right now as many may deride Page’s performance as her playing herself, but pregnant. I think though, that the buzz around Juno (trailer below) and Page might be enough to push her to the trophy.

In Page’s defense, she does portray a mold-breaking female character. Juno isn’t the Mean Girls, bitch teenager, obsessed with gossip, “some hunk” named Brad or designer jeans. At the same time, she isn’t the Sixteen Candles “why don’t people like me?” teenage girl. She initiates the sexual act that gets her pregnant, but the hookup is not the sex kitten sundae display from Varsity Blues. Finally, when she does get pregnant, she is not the helpless teenage pity case a la Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Without getting to kitsch, not even Juno knows what kind of girl she is, mostly because she is just your smarter average sixteen year old girl.

Disclaimer: I was uncertain and wanted to go with the safe bet of Christie, but James convinced me to risk it and go with the people’s favorite, Ellen Page. So if its Page, he gets the credit and if its not, he gets the blame. Call me a coward, but thats the truth.

8 Point Category (Instant Criterion Classic Status)

The biggest award of the night, the Oscar for Best Picture evokes passion like no other Oscar. Its as though some people invest themselves in a particular movie as a personal statement about life and root for its victory as a personal one. For example, when Goodfellas lost to Dances With Wolves, it devastated Italian-Americans while greatly pleasing women who get off on historical fiction fantasies. Rooting for an indie film like Pulp Fiction or Little Miss Sunshine supports a young DIY-lifestyle while rooting for Lord of the Rings or Star Wars supports science fiction nerdom. Most importantly, these movies are instant must-see movies and remain as such well, forever.

Best Picture
Atonement
Juno
Michael Clayton
No Country for Old Men
There Will Be Blood

No Country… will win for all the reasons that both the Coens’ and Bardem will win in their individual categories. It was subtle, well made and challenged typical conventions regarding evil, heroism and fate. I loved its humor, which is what allows this dark movie to be so enjoyable. No Country for Old Men will cause for debate from its audience but there’s little argument against it winner Sunday.

Apparently, Atonement was too British to win this award. Just as well; I don’t need another Shakespeare in Love/English Patient/Dances With Wolves-type movie winning this award. TWBB see above. Everyone roots for Juno here, but I don’t think it seems sophisticated enough to convince the Academy. Michael Clayton falls victim for not being original enough relative to the field. I still think Sweeney Todd should have been right here in the running.

Twenty-six awards, broken down, shifted through and fully prognosticated. I feel like my risks in the actress categories might sink my chance for the moneys, but if I’m right, I’ll have a speech ready to thank all of the little people that made it possible. I can only hope that I am Nostradamus enough (or perhaps Leonard Maltin enough) to get the points and then get the Moolah this Oscar Sunday.

We’d love to hear your thoughts on this, or any other post. Email us at editor@thebocker.com